ulitave

Yesterday, I came home and started to unlock the side door. Like any good southern house, the main entrance to my home is on the side, in the carport. The front door is reserved for forlorn GOP politicians looking for handouts and the Jehovah's Witnesses. Not at the same time. But yesterday, I came home and, out of habit, looked through the side door window as I unlocked it. Now my side door leads directly into the bedroom. I know that's sort of odd, but this house has no hallways. I suppose they had to put it somewhere since a southern home without a side door can NOT happen. I'm sure there's a law.

I looked through the small window and spotted the cat on my bed. I got pissed. Django was once a hulking Rotweiler. He fell under the thrall of some wicked magician who transmuted him into a large black cat, just to see if he'd still lick himself in public. It worked. One of these days I'll have to install a larger doggie door so his ego won't have to wait in the cold. I don't allow dogs in my bed, nor cats, nor cats who think they are dogs. Nothing against them, I'm simply allergic. Not just a little allergic - very allergic after four years of allergy shots. Some animals affect me worse than others, but this dog inside the cat thing (add a hamster and get some sort of pet store Turducken) works. To a degree. He can't get in my bed or I'll wake up with my eyes and nose glued shut from the inside. I was pissed at him, for being in my bed, and pissed at myself, for leaving the bedroom door open. Except Django wasn't in my bed. This was another cat.

She looked young - probably less than a year. Black with white markings. And...familiar. I'd spotted her around before, around the back of my house or on the front porch, meowing. For her boyfriend. Django. It's Spring. She's in....THEY DID IT IN MY BED!!! AAAAAAAAAH! I burst in, irate  incandesent. The girl cat ran for the cat door, and Django...wasn't even in the room. He was laid out on the couch in the next room, enjoying his version of a post-coital smoke, i.e. licking himself.

This is ridiculous - I pay the rent and he gets all the...all the...I can't even say it.